This article is part of a series exploring Vita’s 7 Pillars. Today’s theme reflects Pillar 3: INFUSE YOUR SOUL – Reflect, Release, & Recharge. You can read about Pillar 2: INFUSE YOUR BODY – Natural Movement here.
Your soul has desires and wants to grow. It needs space to reflect, release, and recharge. This may mean you require solitude and quiet time, time to be with just yourself.
Solitude is finding the joy of being alone.
We need solitude to process and unravel problems, and we do this best when we are free from the distractions, constraints, and opinions imposed upon us by others. Reflecting and “me time” is often the best solution for encouraging healing of our emotional wounds. Solitude frees us to reconnect with ourselves and helps us generate ideas and deeper meaning.
In solitude the mind gains strength and learns to lean upon itself.
– Laurence Sterne Read –
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL PAIN
The human mind, inherently impatient, triggers emotional reactions when our ideas about how things should be collide with how things are. We sometimes torment ourselves about choices we’ve made, words we’ve spoken, and paths not taken. Or we dwell on the past traumas and painful memories. These thoughts and judgments are the source of our emotional pain.
Emotional pain can show up in your life as:
- Resistance to healing.
- Unable to forgive and trust.
- Feeling depressed, anxious, angry, overwhelmed, or sad.
Let’s explore these deeper in the following sections.
RESISTANCE TO HEALING
You may feel stuck and resist moving on. You may find you’re dwelling on actions or words that no longer hold meaning. You may even find you feel a sort of pleasure from fixating on these emotions. There’s comfort in what you know and often resistance in what you don’t know. Healing means change, and that can be scary.
Remember that healing needs patience and space. Healing needs understanding. Healing requires your compassion to yourself. You’ll find more tips on feeling stuck in my blog: I Feel Stuck.
Action Step: Take a nice deep breath and release all resistance to healing. Tell yourself “I am ready to heal, I release fear.”
Forgiveness is one of the most difficult hurdles many face. It may seem impossible to “forgive and forget” as the saying goes. The fact is, you cannot force forgiveness. It’s not something that has a switch that we can turn off or on. And even if you want to forgive someone or yourself, you have to trust the process and trust yourself.
Action Step: It helps me to remember that we are all just the victims of the victims. Focus on building trust with yourself, and then work towards forgiveness.
DEPRESSION & OTHER NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
Long-term depression, anxiety, and even grief darkens our thoughts, drains our energy, and it can impact all of your life. Know that these mood disorders are highly treatable (through a medical professional) and you can recover. Let’s start first with the following steps.
Anxiety is your body’s natural response to stress, it’s general a feeling of fear or worry. Anxiety may cause you to stop doing things you enjoy. You may even find it begins to consume your thoughts and influences your actions. Anxiety is rough! Good news, lifestyle changes can be an effective way to relieve some of the stress and anxiety. We encourage you to explore Pillar 1 & Pillar 2 for ideas.
Grief is a strong, overwhelming emotion that stems from a loss. It might feel numb and removed from daily life, unable to carry on with regular duties. Grief is one of those emotions where you may find relief by allowing yourself to experience the emotion fully.
You may find that embracing spirituality and prayer help you with resolving grief. Fall in love with your tears and cry. Talk to someone. Write your story and journal.
Anger is a natural response to perceived threats. Anger isn’t always bad, as it can prevent others from walking all over you. The key is managing your anger in a healthy way, and knowing when your anger has begun to take a negative toll on those around you.
MEDITATION FOR EMOTIONAL HEALING
I invite you to consciously create space to reflect, to release, and to heal.
If you are ready, meditation is one of the best ways to loosen the grip of emotions and to experience the spaciousness and calm within. In the silence of awareness, the mind lets go of old patterns of thinking and feeling, and learns to heal itself. I recommend using mantras, especially if you find it challenging to stay focused. If you find it difficult to meditate but have the desire to do so, ask yourself why you would put off something so beneficial to your well-being.
There are times when we feel the pull to meditate but are swayed from it by excuses. You might be afraid that you will be forced to make huge changes in order to align yourself with the universe and harness your true potential. Sometimes the frustrations of the known world seem less scary than the possibilities of the unknown, but the truth is that when we cooperate with the universe by creating our lives from the truth of our being, life becomes less of a struggle and more of a process of living blissfully on purpose.
Finding yourself alone for a few moments can give you the opportunity to turn within to infuse a sense of calm wisdom to your work.
Whenever you have a moment, take time to recenter and refocus. Doing so will remind you how beneficial it is to connect to your source. Make meditation a priority and you will experience the benefits and feel compelled to step into longer sojourns of spirit. Once you are rejuvenated and enlivened by knowing that you are made of energy and light, you can channel the power to create your life in alignment with the highest potential of your soul.
FINDING MOMENTS TO RECHARGE
Engage in activities such as yoga, breath work, or Reiki to help you recharge and feel renewed. Even sleep is there for us to process emotional pain and recharge. You cannot change what you are not aware of, and what you are unconsciously (or consciously) avoiding due to fear. Resist the impulse to ignore your feelings, push them away, or judge them as bad. Wherever you are, honor yourself and acknowledge that you are worthy and valid to receive a deep experience of peace.
CONTINUE THE HEALING PROCESS
Begin the healing process. You can start at any given time, including right now. Allow yourself time for mourning. Don’t hold back, mourning is a very important part of the process of change. In your mourning you’ll find release, relief, and closure. Mourning and grieving are blessings in disguise, and through them you open and grow.
Embracing grief and mourning welcomes big changes. I’m happy to say I was able to forgive my mom for difficulties experienced during my childhood after only a few, very emotional conversations, but I still struggle to forgive other people who hurt me like my ex-husband. Even when I hoped and thought I’d reached forgiveness, the anger and grief suddenly shows up again. However, I’ve now learned to recognize it, smile at it, and be grounded in my reactions and judgments.
As you grow remember to be patient – transformation and emotional healing takes time. While thought processes vibrate at a very high frequency, the physical body vibrates at a much slower rate, therefore change within the physical body takes much longer than change in your thought. Be patient with yourself as your physical body catches up, and know it’s OK to start small. Milestones are still milestones, regardless of size.
I absolutely use all of the above tools on a daily basis. I found the best relief in yoga, mediation, writing, and crying. Once I addressed (and keep on addressing) my emotional healing, I started to notice a sense of lightness, less everyday stress, higher levels of motivation and vitality, and in general more enjoyment of life!
Look for moments where you allow challenges and traumas to become excuses for non-action in the present. Do any moments stand out? Did these moments hold you back and prevent you from growth? If so, start your process of healing today. Take time to heal by reflecting, releasing, & recharging.
Mantra: I listen to my soul’s desires