Pillar 5: INFUSE YOUR TRIBE – Positive Tribe.
This article is part of a series exploring Vita’s 7 Pillars. Today’s theme reflects Pillar 5: INFUSE YOUR TRIBE – Positive Tribe. You can read about Pillar 4: INFUSE YOUR LOVE – Love Of Self here.
The way we live these days does not support any sense of community. Separation and judgement have become commonplace and alienating ourselves from any inkling of brotherhood/sisterhood has become second nature. We’ve become experts at being alone and we shrug off the loneliness that comes with it, chalking it up as a weakness.
But it’s important to note: the feeling of belonging is a basic (emotional) human need, just like food and shelter is a survival human need. Feeling that you belong is one of the most important aspects in seeing value in life and in coping with intensely painful emotions. We all crave a sense of community and knowing that we matter to others; that we are part of a larger group.
We are not alone in our need for support and inspiration.
EXPLORE YOUR CURRENT TRIBE
Do you have a positive home or other place where you feel supported, where you feel comfortable expressing your needs, where you can be authentic and transparent? Whom are you surrounded with, do they support your growth and your ideas? Or do you feel held back in expressing your thoughts and ideas because you feel or know they will be judged?
If you are surrounded by toxic people, you’ll experience the toxic effects: you’ll end up brainwashed, you may begin mimicking their thinking that you and your ideas are not valid, you begin to speak poorly of yourself, and overall just feel negative, which leads often to depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and lots of self-doubt.
Let’s dig a little deeper into our current tribe. Answer the following questions as honestly as possible:
- How often do you find yourself surrounded by people who constantly complain?
- People who always have something negative to say about those in their life?
- People who never seem happy and need a lot of attention and recognition from outside to be happy?
- And even in those moments where you try to go above and beyond to help them, nothing you do is good enough?
- Do you feel like they always put blame on others and their explanation seems confusing and manipulative?
Does more than one person come to mind when you answer these questions? If you answered yes to any of the questions above, this is your current tribe, and it’s not a very supportive one – is it?
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SUPPORT
Like-minded individuals often congregate together – negativity feeds negativity. The same can be said about positivity feeding positivity. A culture is strong when people work with each other and for each other. A culture is weak when people work against each other for themselves.
“Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much” – Helen Keller
You may feel out of place within one group and more comfortable with another. Find your community of like-minded people who will understand you and where you feel understood. Engage in hobbies or activities that bring you joy. Open yourself up to new experiences within these groups, and try to focus on the positives as often as possible.
Shift the way you think about things, let go of the negative thoughts you hold for yourself, and change your Victim Voice in to a Hero Voice. Our Victim Voice holds us back, but our Hero Voice lifts ourselves and others up. “Nothing causes more emotional distress than the negative thoughts we think. I call them your Victim Voice. And though we sometimes have to allow the ego it’s drama, we also must be better than we usually are at identifying the thoughts that don’t serve us and choosing more useful thoughts to become your Hero Voice.” Learn more about your Victim Voice and how to embrace your Hero Voice in our blog post Pillar 4: INFUSE YOUR LOVE – Love Of Self (Acts Of Self-Love) here.
The whole world shifts when you shift how you’re thinking about others and about yourself.
“When we live in alignment with who we are and how we want to live, we will attract and find like-minded individuals.” – Akiroq Brost
EMBRACE YOUR NEW TRIBE
Once you’ve allowed yourself into these new experiences and have become more receptive to accepting change, you’ll start to see a huge shift in your tribe. Embrace it. A sense of belonging and support from being in your new tribe will highly improve your motivation, health, and happiness. When you open up to others on a deeper level, others will most likely open up to you too.
Know that all people struggle and have difficult times. You are not alone. There is comfort in that knowledge.
“Surround yourself only with people who are going to take you higher.” – Oprah Winfrey
When I made that huge step away from the negative social circles I was in, it was difficult. Especially in the beginning and as someone who is an introvert, I struggled facing the judgements from others. Being called extreme was hard to hear.
However, I began to explore my hobbies and interests more, such as yoga. I immersed myself into these communities. I found a sense of belonging here. I found so much comfort within my vegan friend circle and yoga community that I realized people outside of these circles just don’t know where I am at in my life, and that’s OK. The more important part is that I’m happy where I am!
If you are fortunate to already have a great support system in place, reach out to others and see if you can provide that to someone in need. In doing service for others we often find answers to our own questions and solutions to our own problems.
If you do not currently have a tribe, we’re happy to be your new tribe. Connect with us and join us on social media. We even have a Facebook group you can join and connect with like-minded individuals. You have a space with us.
Welcome to your new tribe.
Mantra: Together we create a setting where our soul can be free to meet another soul.
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